This little graphic sat in my phone for weeks.
It sat there quietly as I struggled for the same length of time to find the words to write my story.
Tonight as I looked at this graphic again, I realised that I cannot let this story fade away. It was one of the most transformational experiences in my life. And I pray that if you are reading this, it might be of worth to you too.
It happened when my coach noticed a pattern in me.
“Faith, you tend to sacrifice your needs for others. It’s been coming up repeatedly.”
Ya I could feel it too.
So often as I worked with people, I would unconsciously want them to have good experiences or results, but often at the cost of myself. It could be at the cost of my time, my energy. Sometimes money. But all the times? That would be stress and an overwhelming sense of responsibility.
I tried to journal through it, make sense of it but nothing pinged for me. I felt as though I was wrestling with a big blank wall. No answers.
Upon recommendation, I went to Bingz Huang to help me work through this block energetically since I couldn’t figure it out in my waking hours.
An intuitive coach who specialises in Human Design work, Bingz suggested that we use the Aroma Freedom Technique to work through this. This is a technique created by Dr Benjamin Perkus and uses Stress Away, Frankincense, Lavender for memory release. Other oils such as Release, Inner Child and Transformation are also used for a transformative experience.
What can I say about my AFT experience?
It felt like I was traveling back in time, to pick up past experiences that contributed to my unconscious belief of self sacrifice.
Inner Child was so very potent for me. With a few deep inhales of this oil, while seeking the answer, vivid memories of my childhood popped out.
Me as the only child for the first 11 years of my life, as the shining hope for my parents.
Held to high expectations by my mom.
I’m told repeatedly that I must be filial to my parents, take care of them (especially $$$) when they are older and be a good daughter.
I think somewhere, somehow, through no fault of my parents, I picked up the notion that by being a good dutiful daughter to my parents, and later as a wife and mother to my own family, my own needs are not as important nor should I voice out about them.
Fast forwarding to my adult life, I then realised that this thread of self sacrifice also set me up for consistent themes in my life such as:
– Taking on more because I didn’t want to burden others.
– Often feeling stressed and frustrated because I didn’t want to let anyone down.
– Burnout, fatigue were also the aftermath of these experiences.
It didn’t matter where I look.
The same pattern and similar experiences was littered across my childhood, teenage years and now in adulthood.
So if this is not what I want, what do I WANT?
I wanted to affirm these:
“My needs are as important as others.”
“I do everything for my highest good and thus help others too.”
“I accept my strengths and power.”
We finished the AFT session with Believe eo over heart to lock the new program in. Bingz suggest that I do this twice a day to reaffirm the new beliefs.
Sometimes releasing old patterns can be with struggle, tears and maybe even painful.
But what if releasing and healing can be a gentle experience? That stuff just suddenly click into place, the missing puzzle piece is found and your world shifted in a profound and yet beautiful way?
I look forward to more of such experiences.