SELF CARE FOR BUSY MOMS (like geez, which mom isn’t busy?!)
I had a lot of fun writing this tongue in cheek article (but oh so true for me) for the One Drop May newsletter. I wanted to share with you all since Mother’s Day is coming up!
Regardless how you think of yourself as a mom, I believe we all do our best in this most challenging, rewarding, rollercoaster journey. So give some time to self care.
You deserve it!
Ah when Mdm Ranna asked me to write an article on self care for moms, I must admit, I chuckled.
Me a mom who immediately associate GUILT with PLEASURE (self care). #imgettingbetter
Who gets antsy when she didn’t get stuff checked off her long long to-do list.
Who is definitely not the mom who is all put together, ZEN like, who can intone to you from Mt Enlightenment HOW TO DO SELF CARE.
But then again:
– I’m stay at home parents with my ever loving hubs Jon
– We have 2 young feisty active kids, who are in 2 different school times, 3 hours each. So they are with us except 30 mins daily where their school times mercifully overlap.
– We chose not to have a live in domestic help or car.
– We also juggle a multi million dollar Young Living business, over 90% in residual and recurring income, which we are exceedingly grateful for, in helping us to be stay at home parents for our kids.
So ok lah, I think I can send some light on this #momlife and self care thing.
Here’s 5 tips I have for you. All oils mentioned – I like to apply over my heart and on my forehead and inhale the rest deeply from my palms:
– Get clear on why self care is important to you.
I mean honestly, we can preach Heaven and Earth to you but if you don’t see why you need it or you feel that your family CANNOT do without you, then well… NOTHING happens. So get clear get clear.
Oils to use: Clarity, 3 Wise Men, Release, Sacred Mountain
– Ask for help.
I was in the same never-ending loop of business-family-business-family until one day I bottomed out my well of giving. I literally felt that I couldn’t take another step further and I was shutting down.
It is only then, then I asked my hubs Jon, “Please help me.”
I think we women are magnificent superwomen. We literally give ALL OUT (because oh dear biology wires us that way) then we get frustrated, resentful, angry on why no one helps us. Especially the damn husband / mother / mother in law. (Hahah, sorry Jon!)
Thing is we women come with a couple of interesting flaws…. Firstly we think that people can read our minds on what we need and render help accordingly. Or we say something vague once or twice, hoping peeps take the hint. Then SURPRISE! It didn’t happen.
Secondly I think women have a hard time asking for help. We like to soldier on until something gives out, we flat out, then ok… then we CONSIDER asking for help.
ASK. And ask for it with a bright loud voice. You need it. Dang you are worth it.
Oils to use: Humility, Transformation, Harmony, Hyssop
– Perfectionism isn’t so perfect for life after all.
Repeat after me… “I will let the house be messy today so I can do my favourite thing. I can go have a cup of tea / read my favourite manga / steal that last piece of chocolate cake instead of saving for my kids / insert pleasure here.”
No one dies from messes at home. And your sanity is worth any mess. Or dirty laundry piling up.
Pssst… I have this long black sofa in my living room and my clean laundry has been setting up camp there. To prevent it from growing into Mt Clean Underwear, we take clothes from it to wear after baths instead of from the wardrobe. Yup, my sofa is my wardrobe sans doors. Best thing, you can lie on it too!
(If you are judging me now for my terrible laundry habits, ah… tsk tsk that perfectionism thing is kicking in for you. )
Oils to use: Surrender, Family, Fun, Oola Balance
– What’s your pleasures?
Ok time to let your hair down!
What would you love to do? Go go go!
Tip 1: Usually it’s the stuff that you feel a sense of #momguilt, just thinking about it.
Tip 2: If you are feeling that you couldn’t do this self care shebang because you don’t have time or only have xx minutes, then would you be open to be present for your self care in that period of time? Being intentional EXPANDS our experiences.
Oils to use: Present Time, Joy, Orange, Valor, Inspiration
C’mon, you won’t get used to this self care thing unless you intentionally practise. Schedule time in your calendar, ask for help in a bright voice, kick that perfectionism to the curb.
Above all, we are more than just moms. We have our passions, our interests, our quirks, stuff that makes life worth living! WHOLE LIFE LIVING. SUCCULENT LIVING.
Isn’t that worth it? Plus! You get to show your kids how MOM does it. And they learn how to do that for themselves too when its their turn to be parents.
You got my permission.
Now go on, claim THAT LIFE for yourself!
Oils to use: Joy, Lady Sclareol, Live with Passion, Light The Fire