When Norce first approached me with this topic to write on, I’ve a lot of answers to her question. Given that I love to provide a different perspective to how things are usually seen, I decided to say that my strength in my life is being able to feel my feelings.
This might come across as an odd answer especially if I tell you how this is such a superpower in my business and life so read on below for details.
And if you’re a highly sensitive person like me, can I also invite you to shine your light brightly too, own that light instead of feeling that you have to suppress who you really are?
In business this is how it plays out
In business, there are two sides to it – the masculine and the feminine. While most of us probably identify the masculine as strategies, numbers, profitability, logical deductions, perhaps lesser known is the feminine side to business too.
Emotions drive our actions and give it a certain flavour. You can ask two people to take the same action but when it comes from two different emotions, the same action can look and feel different and this creates different results too. And how are our emotions created? They came from the thoughts that we have.
Let’s unpack this with a simplistic example.
Say if I asked two people to make 10 sales calls with the aim of signing up as many clients as possible. With one person, her thought could be, “I HAVE to do this otherwise I’ll get fired.” From this thought she could feel anxious. Because of this thought and emotion driving her actions, her sales calls might be focused on pressuring people to sign up without much regard to how her offer could serve them. Unpacking this further, she might have inadvertently driven people away instead of signing them up.
The second is clear that while the goal is important, her thought is that she wants to serve the people that she contacted too. She feels calm and curious and made the calls wanting to have conversations with people on how her offer could help them.
Guess who could have signed up more people? Who has the more attractive and appealing energy? Yup pretty likely the second person.
This would not be possible if a person is unaware of how her thoughts and then her resulting emotion is driving her actions. And this is something that I practice in my business too.
In addition, I want to offer this line from a well respected business woman:
“It’s not as important as to how I’ve informed you. It matters more on how I’ve made you feel.”
How does this strength support me in parenting?
My one wish for my kids is that they grow up feeling safe to hold space and sit with their feelings without judgment.
So why is this important? Firstly it teaches them the gift of being compassionate and curious to their thoughts and feelings. Honestly if we all judge or blame ourselves on what we think and how we feel, it stops us from doing the inner work on what actually drives us.
Self awareness starts off as a gentle inquiry into self.
Self blame doesn’t get ourselves very far.
Secondly, feelings lol are like farts. You can try holding them in but it is extremely uncomfortable. And the longer you hold it, it develops into serious and chronic health problems. And literally emotions suppressed DO lead to health problems.
As a coach, this is how I support my clients
As a coach, I’m often reminded that self coaching is important. How effective I can be as a coach to others is also reflective in how I coach myself too. Helping others to identify their emotions becomes a key driver to unlock their subconscious patterns especially in the areas of how they have kept themselves stuck or running in figurative loops.
If you are curious and would love to connect about how I can help you, I welcome all conversations! You can drop me a message at @faithinflow on IG or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org